.
We continue our
tour of the restaurants of Yamba. We’ve run out of personal recommendations
now, so I’m scouting the Internet and, in particular, Trip Advisor, for clues.
Yes, I know Trip Advisor is manipulable (I’ve seen it done) and I know they mix
up caffs with class restaurants and ice-cream parlours, and every darned place
in town boasts their ‘certificate of excellence’ (!) … but I’ve been a
professional reviewer and critic of one thing and another for enough decades to
see through most shams (and they’re usually pretty transparent), so I don’t
shrink. So. Yamba.
I’ve eaten at half
a dozen places now. The best one (to which I’ve happily returned, for an even
better meal) is rated no 4. Then it’s down to no 10. I’ve had coffee at no. 9. Pub
lunch at no 26. The reviews for no 3 seemed too chummy. No 2 is at Angourie. No
8 is an ice-cream bar. Restaurant?? No 11 is a burger joint. My friend, Helen,
didn’t like no 7. I liked no 17 a lot for lunch. So? Do I trust this hit
parade? What to do? Well, how about no 1?
Boardroom and Bar.
Well, I’d rather have a restaurant than an office. And the reviews speak of
children’s activities … good prices … and other dubious items … this doesn’t
sound very ‘me’. But, damme, let’s try.
Well, the
Boardroom – which has a nice bar, not a pub one – has been rather too cutely
named. The ‘board’ in question is, this being surfing country, a surfboard. OK.
Big joke. Not a selling point.
We arrived at
dusk, so I didn’t see my surroundings too clearly, but I saw a pub, a gaming
room, a TAB, a children’s playground … this no 1 resto is part of a … complex?
Yes, it appears it is an offshoot of the Yamba Shores Tavern. Which seems to
have quite a few offshoots!
Then we went in.
Another world. Spacious, modern, extremely attractively designed … the tables
spaced at the most excellent distance from each other, you feel you’re en tête à
tête … this is NICE. This calls for a glass of bubbly. My bubbly, served by a
sweetly shy young looker, is called Emily. Well, that’s ME won over!
Menu. I was told
tapas. Hurrah! Here they’re called ‘Small Plates’. I like this place already. A
bouchée is a bouchée in any language. If you want something more substantial
there are ‘Share Boards’. ‘Ideal for two’. $34-60. No. We came for our
favourite ‘everything in the middle of the table and … go!’ type meal. You pick
one, I pick one.
Asian vegetable
dumpling with ginger and shallots. Oh yes. Tick that one. I want the Sea
Scallop with Thai green apple salad. Paul fancies the Cauliflower popcorn with
roast garlic aioli. Empanada ... what the heck does that mean? Oh, tick it
anyway … oysters? Naah. I’ve eaten claires fines in Nice … anyway, there is
plenty of interesting choice, all described without any stupid adjectives … yes,
I like this place already.
The food came just
briskly enough to be freshly cooked, and the little parade of goodies went on …
and on …
I’m not going to
attempt to describe them individually. I made an error in the eating. I had my
Empanada, with its chili sauce, first. And the chili stayed with me into the
later dishes. Wrong. I’ll do it differently next time. Oh yes, there will be a
next time, if somebody will drive me!
Paul picked the
winner. We had seconds of the Cauliflower popcorn. So simple, but so well done.
It’s the one I remember on the morrow. That’s good cooking. I had thirds of
‘Emily’ and then – believe it or not – we ordered dessert! Paul had Peanut
Butter Parfait with salted caramel (great touch!) and ganache. Ganache is one
of those Masterchef words that I don’t understand, but anyway it was most
tasty. I had a ‘Helado de Vainilla’ (hey! What happened to the Australian
labelling) which was vanilla ice-cream with a glass of Spanish sherry. Most
enjoyable, but the sherry – of which I’m a dilettante – was of the port wine
variety, and I’m an exxxxxxtra-dry man.
A very nice meal,
very nicely served, in a relaxing and elegant atmosphere … what can one ask for
more? I think B&B probably deserves its No 1 Yamba-rating, certainly as a
dinner venue. But I still have a few to try … now, tonight, I’m heading for no
6.
Oh. Price? $122
for two, including 3 Emilys. 60 euros. Fair value.
Episode the next.
Well, we walked up the hill to number 6. Italian. Osteria Martini. Closed. For
three weeks. At a period when other restaurants are bulging? Perhaps they’re
very prosperous. Oh well, no Italian. Down the hill again, past no 7 (Helen
says ‘no’). OK, here’s no 25. The Mexican. Good name. Tells you exactly what to
expect. It’s thronged. Young folk, families … ‘no split bills’ advertisement.
Ha! … well, I’m hungry, so … here we go. You can only die once.
A sprightly
Margarita takes the edge off my doubts as we scan the menu. Oh! The big menu is
the drinks one … I may be all right after all. I am not an experienced
Mex-eater. I’ve only been to Acapulco once, 2/3 of a life ago, and I have no
idea whether what is served up to the outside world is kosher Mexican food or
not.
However, I quickly
spotted the word ‘ceviche’. May last ceviche (which the Katz Orange chef had
confided was really a fish tartare) was the joy of my this summer’s Berlin
eating, so that was for me. This one was fresh, light, tasty and ideal for a
summery night. Especially with a second margarita. The tortilla chips on the side
aren’t really my thing, but who cared. The ceviche was splendid. Paul had a
chorizo and onion quesillada (thumbs up) and we ate our meals with some nice black
beans and excellent pinto beans …
Price: $102.00 for
two, including 4 margaritas (3 were mine). And nearly the last thing we saw was
a large table of diners asking for … a split bill.
I’m coming back to
sunshine and food of Yamba in a few days, to stay awhile. So I’ll visit my
favourite eateries again, and maybe try one or two more. But I have to admit
I’ve been to one thrice already. Not for dinner, the Beachwood Café doesn’t do
dinner. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, coffees ... I’m just back from a brunch of
zucchini and corn fritters … light as a fairy’s frock and ten times as tasty.
And a salad. The restaurateuse remembered my aversion to tomato-skins, and
without my asking, served me up … skinned tomatoes. Where do you get service like
that?
As for the Trip
Advisor ratings, they are reasonably fair, as far as I have tested. Beachwood
and Boardroom have that extra ‘je sais exactement quoi’, but there’s plenty of
enjoyable food here at Yamba, the margins between 5th and 25th are very slight
… and I’m happy to say I haven’t had a duff meal, coffee, snack, anything, in
five days.
Onwards and upwards!
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